I have once again found myself struggling with the desire to clean up my blog, so to speak. Every so often, an old post will pop up in the footer of a current post (which, admittedly, is intentional a la the "You might also like:" widget), and I'm reminded of perspectives and words spewed in the past. Sometimes I read those older posts and revisit memories or details I'd forgotten, thankful that I documented such snippets for safe keeping. Other times, I shake my head and feel sheepish for being so outspoken with clearly such a narrow understanding of...well, many things.
But time and time again, I've opted not to edit posts of days past. (Though let's be clear, I edit the pants off of any given post from a grammar perspective; but even in college, I was never very good at knowing when too much was too much, when fewer right words would be best. "Precision," my grad school writing prof called it.) It's tempting to rip out the pages of this virtual journal and rest easy, knowing that few people remember the mouthy, bitter gal who knew everything and sure would take the opportunity to tell you all about it. But relics of her are still very present in 2013 Natty. Call them habits, sins, genetic "gifts," whatever you will. Some could be chalked up to quirk or sass, but most are marks of a gal who is in need of refining and growth.
Nevertheless, it's a blessing to have those touch points to reflect on, to remember, and to understand with perspective and distance that I lacked at the time, that wasn't part of my walk in that season. I have complete faith that there is purpose daily throughout one's walk, and that God is tirelessly working behind the scenes. (I can't imagine how He doesn't tire of me, I tell ya.)
I can understand why many would make the choice to edit such relics: to protect someone, as a means of letting go, self-preservation, etc.. But for me, to grasp the transformation that has occured since I was saved (and that continues to this day), the posts of my former self hold value. Transgressions have been forgiven, attitudes pardoned, and sins absorbed. And thank the Lord for that! I believe it is an opportunity to glorify Him by letting the past continue to hang out there, sharing that as part of my journey, knowing that I am a different girl, and that in Him I am safe and justified.
Have any of you considered "editing" your posts after the fact? Please share your experiences. I'm interested to hear how/if y'all have wrestled through it.