Reading this post will do absolutely nothing to enhance your life. You've been warned.

I decided that I've been a very bad vegetarian as of late. Instead of changing my eating habits and working out, I vowed to resume taking vitamins. ('Cause that's the same.) Mom bought some vitamins a few weeks ago per her doc, but they upset her stomach and so I simply commandeered these.

Bad idea number one.

I took the first pill this morning with my coffee.

Yeah, don't do that (i.e. bad idea number two).

One of the selling points of this particular vitamin is that it is designed for "Women's Active Mind and Body." Well, this woman possesses neither of those things as of late, so that should have been my first clue that I was barking up the wrong tree. But I liked the idea of getting all my vitamins/minerals in addition to "energy support" (since the slow coffee and/or iced tea drip to which I'm attached all day aren't enough) and "weight loss support."

Maybe, just maybe, they should have indicated that the weight loss method of choice with this pill is bulimia. I puked within ten minutes of taking the mo-effer.

I know, I know. "But Natalie, why the H would you take vitamins on a stomach full of iced espresso? You're so pretty." (That last bit is a condescending, albeit adorable, quip of which my friends and I are most fond.) And you're correct. It was a bad idea.

But if you think I'm giving up my coffee for fear of a lil osteoporosis or vitamin deficiency, you're out of your gourd! I mean, coffee comes from the ground. Vegetables come from the ground. Vegetables are healthy and chock full o' vitamins. Ergo coffee is better than vitamins.

If you don't see my logic, I just can't help you.


  1. Your mind is active because you have to figure out where the nearest bathroom is.

    Your body is active because you are trying to get there in time.

    The slogan works!

  2. This story reminds of once when I was a little kid, and i decided to take some of my mom's vitamins...I was a dumb little kid. The kind that drinks cleaning fluid and whatnot. Hahah!

  3. Some of the most solid logic I've heard all day. You are a wise and beautiful woman. Can the same logic be used in defense of whiskey?

  4. haha I've made that mistake before... Worse even, do not take on an empty stomach. I've thrown up from that a few times. I hate taking vitamins.. You might try a liquid though... they work a little better supposedly. I get one from Smoothie King, I forget what its called but Ill let you know!

  5. What are prescription vitamins? Are they really better than my Flintstone's chewables? Surely not!

  6. I actually see the logic in this. We should invent Coffee laced with vitamins. Starbucks should start doing extra shots Zinc.

  7. "Out of your gourd"? Haha!

    Chicken, you joke about it, but I seriously wouldn't put it past them :P

  8. Vitamins bad. Lesson learned.

  9. Natalie, I'm a first-time visitor to your blog from Cleveland, OH.

    I clicked-through to your blog from CarissaJaded's.

    I LOVE "whenever and whatever" blogs, so I enjoyed reading a few of your posts.

    Did I see that you live in Dallas? I heard it snowed there last week. That's crazy!

    Again, great blog!

  10. This is too funny!! Vitamins are dangerous and not a smart idea, pretty much...ever, I've decided! Stick with your iced coffee, girl!