A Throwback Kinda Guy

The last time I made a laundry list of qualities I wanted in a mate, God (being the comedian He is) gave me exactly what I asked for. This taught me a very valuable lesson: we silly humans don't know what the hell we really want/need. (And also, I apparently wasn't specific enough when I made that list. I failed to request "Not a cheater" and "Not an emotional hot mess." My bad.)
So in devising a new list for my next four-year-long disaster (because, apparently, I've learned not a thing), I've decided that I want a throwback dude: a clean-shaven crooner who has style, grace, and knows how to make a mean dirty martini. (Extra olives, please.) In short, I'd love me some Michael Buble. (But chances are pretty slim that that specifically is going to work out. For starters, I really don't want to date someone who primarily chases models. I mean, I eat.)

I typically lust after wannabe rock stars who (apparently) don't know what shaving is (nor deodorant), and wouldn't know how to treat a real lady (read: not a skank) if their oh-so-bohemian lives depended on it. But I'm changing it up. I like to bathe and smell nice, so it's high time I find a guy who likes to do the same. And champagne. There should be more champagne. Girls like bubbles. And sparkly things.

Now I'm not saying I want a squeaky clean square. I do love a boy with a lil swagger and sass all his own. But classiness has been underrated in my book for far too long, and I intend to remedy this oversight starting now.

Where, pray tell, will I find such a prize in Dallas, you ask? No effing clue.

Ain't that a kick in the head?


  1. Honey, if you find the rock they're all hiding under, give me a call!

  2. You are so darn cute and seriously? Do we really need to be MORE similar? It's getting ridiculous. Michael Buble (in theory, not real life) I heart. A man with swagger, some class, and knows how to treat a lady and I'd be buttah. It seems, "I just haven't met him yet". If he's in Dallas, he's GREAT at hiding.

  3. I have not met a man like this in DFW yet, but maybe hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings (with my current boyfriend)is not the right place to look. I'm an obviously classy new reader and I love what you do here.

  4. i'm about to get in the shower. ha ha!