This Old Broad

I went out with three of my favorite girlfriends on Friday night for dinner and drinks in downtown Fort Worth. Sundance Square is especially festive this time of year, which made it the perfect destination for our Girls' Nite Out. It didn't dawn on me, however, until after we were parked and headed to our dining destination that this part of town tends to draw the college crowd away from the local university campus.

Upon walking into a popular collegiate watering hole, we found ourselves shocked at how old we all felt in such an environment. Long gone are the days of bar hopping on a regular basis and getting so hammered that we could barely recall our names, much less our decision to stop sleeping with anything that resembled Orlando Bloom (a net cast much too far when Beer Goggles were involved).

There were a few observations in particular that really made us feel like Golden Girls...

1. Young chicks are, apparently, impervious to temperature. Not one of the pathetic-excuse-for-a-dress-wearing girls had a jacket with them, despite the thirty-five degree weather that night. We, on the other hand, had to remove our coats, gloves, and scarves before we even made our way to the bar, unaware of the uncoolness of season-appropriate attire.

2. As we enjoyed our respective beers of choice, we noticed glass after glass of cherry vodka nightmare being thrown back by the young 'ens. I learned years ago that anything with a straw was a bad choice as far as bar drinks went, unless, of course, twisting your ankle on the walk home and runny mascara is your idea of a good time.

3. Flirtatious hair tosses are wasted on no one when you're twelve (actual age: twenty). A half-decade of time would teach these girls that you don't have to listen to every ounce of B.S. hurdled your way as Nickelback drones on in the background. It's OK to say, "Thanks, but no thanks," walk away, and take comfort in the fact that you can afford your own drink and a quiet inch of bar space to yourself. She will revel in this freedom. Eventually.

The lights came up at 2am and the bartenders took to shouting at the oblivious kids draped over the bar and making out in the corner. (Laughing and dancing aside, there really are some things that you shouldn't do as though no one were watching.) We put out our cigarettes, drained the last of our beers, layered ourselves back up in our winter garb, and headed out into the night. Laughing as we embraced our "old" age, we returned to Di's fancy new ride, a few of us passed out from exhaustion, and then parted ways to resume our respective, grown-up lives.

College life is a blast, no doubt. And the carefree nature that typifies our early-twenties is truly something special, not to be taken for granted. But by the end of our second decade on this planet, we should be thankful for the lessons we've learned, the memories we've made, and the friendships we've forged that allow us to retain that wonderful spark of youth without the abundance of bad decisions.

Well, less at least.


  1. Haha, that's why going back to your old Uni haunts should be avoided if you're in any variety of existential funk :) But we're still too young to feel past it, and we're still of the age where we'll make PLENTY of mistake which we wouldn't have later in life, so don't worry!

  2. Even funnier to read than live through. Looking at those young women made me so proud of where we are, even if it does come with a walking stick pang or too.

    I'll take the good company, blowing off guys "searching" for friends, and my coat any day over my early twenties.

    I ADORED the last full paragraph. Cheers with my paid for beer to you!

    P.S. I told this story at work today, not knowing about your blog, and my boss (one of the smart married men in his mid-thirties) said, "those are the best lines men have any more?" I said, "those were the good ones, since they left us alone eventually." Sigh.

  3. Too true buiscut. We have a club here named "Dirty" I took one step into the club and was looking for the nearest clinc for a hepatitis shot. When did shirts become dresses? And wasn't it about 10 years ago that it was cool to wear matching hot pink dresses? Full of 20 something tarts that thought it was "sexy" to drunk dance on the stripper pole placed all over the club by the no doubt male club owner.

  4. This reminds me of the lovely outfits we witnessed at Bolsa. Where did you find the abominable snow man needed to skin for those boots? And with a sparkly "dress" to boot. Oh no