Solitary Confinement {A Throwback Post}

Here's a little ditty that I wrote on January 1, 2009 (at which time I maintained one of those MySpace pseudo-blogs...pfff!). Funny to think that not much has changed (minus my overuse of the word "myriad," thank goodness), though I am planning to venture out into the city this NYE. Stay tuned for that hot mess...

To ring in 2009, I decided to stay in and enjoy myself...alone. My mom called about four times last night to make sure I wasn't hanging from the shower head*, which was sweet, but reminded me how easily people can miss the point of choosing to spend a holiday/evening/weekend alone.

Just when I was starting to send a mass text assuring all that I was not, in fact, home wallowing and sobbing into my veggie kung pao chicken, I came upon a section of a book I've been reading here and there while cuddled up on the couch. It's a book about Audrey Hepburn. (I know I'm a little late on that band wagon, but I am so charmed by her grace and history; I've finally--like so many--taken to following her story and films as of late.) There is a chapter dedicated to Audrey's home life and it goes into detail about how much she enjoyed solitude, even before she became Audrey the Icon.

She said (in so many words) that there are few things more sublime than being at home, in your own space, alone and secure. She went on to explain that there is nothing lonely or sad about her spending so much alone time in her home because a friend is always a phone call away or could walk through her door at any moment.

I love this explanation because it so elegantly communicates what I've always felt about being on my own. I can happily eat a meal, see a movie, read in Starbucks, travel, drive....all by myself and never once feel lonely. I know my friends are a text away (since we all know how much I dislike talking on the phone). And nights such as last night: I could have gone to a myriad of parties and get-togethers. But staying [in my cozy apartment], bundled up and watching some great movies, is what felt best to me. There is nothing worse than being Sad Sally, all dressed up at a beautiful bar/club, thinking about escaping or getting drunk and dwelling. (Lord, there is just no saving me when I get to that place!)

Anyway, I just wanted to post a little something to (1) assure that I am alive and well (mentally and physically!) and (2) shed a little light on how I feel about spending time solo. I know some of you are the same way, so maybe that little Audrey moment will come in handy when you have to explain to your mom that you won't be drowning yourself in the tub anytime soon with "I Can't Live if Living is Without You" playing in the background.

*I am not one to take suicide lightly and have certainly dealt with it in my own life. Please don't take offense to how I am talking about it here. It's merely part of a humorous anecdote and does not reflect how I truly feel about the subject. But that would not exactly be an entertaining way to start my blogging streak of 2009, now would it?


  1. I remember this post. It's actually why I thought of spending NYE in solitude, but then of course we all made plans together and it kicked my sweet little night in's arse. I loved the post then, I love it now. I can't believe how much closer our friendship is a year later. Holla 2010!

  2. I just found your blog and it is great! I also had to comment because our last names are so similar! weird!
    have a happy new years!
    -Nicole Cottral