I'm Sweating...er, Glowing...Like a Pig

After a successful annual check up today, I decided to heed my GYN's advice to resume an exercise regimen. (By the way, shouldn't cupcakes at checkout be mandatory when you've just had your vajayjay poked and prodded, in addition to your doc once again urging you to seek mental health assistance?) (Don't ask.) I adore my doctor and should mention that she didn't recommend exercise as a sly way of breaking the news that I am fat-tastic. She's awesome and very good about insisting that all of her patients eat well and get daily exercise. And she is absolutely right.

So tonight I suited up (I am quite the treat when in my workout gear, let me tell you), powered up the iPod, soaked my knees in Biofreeze, popped a few ibuprofen, and reunited with my old friend: the elliptical. I have the good fortune of owning this lovely piece of exercise equipment, which lives in our breakfast nook right next to the trampoline (file that under Good Ideas Doomed to Fail). My elliptical and I used to have a semi-serious relationship, spending most evenings and the occasional lunch hour together, ticking away minutes, miles, and calories together. It's been a while so I set a low-but-reasonable goal for myself: ten minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but that ten minutes amounted to 3.5 miles and over 850 calories burned (unless, as I suspect, my dear elliptical is being much too kind and telling white lies, as all good friends do).

And though I don't mind breaking a good sweat (save for the certainty that I'll have to shower and blowout my hair every night that I work out, which is quite the production and one I try to limit to every other day...though I still bathe in some form or fashion every night, of course; don't get it twisted), I discovered the motivation that will keep this current streak of fitness alive and well for more than a week: the chance to unwind and listen to some great tunes!

Sure, it would be nice to have a more shapely derriere (I wasn't blessed with robust tatas*, so I've gotta rock the toosh) and slender, toned arms that don't look like pasty slugs when pressed against my torso. (Why, oh why, do I always end up on the end when I'm wearing sleeveless tops at events? I try to avoid the Hollywood starlet hand-on-hip, but anything else results in a big hot mess to remember for always. Swell.) But generally the improved-appearance motivation disappears as soon as the events and premieres are behind me...or a cupcake is in front of me. (Damn you, cupcake. Damn you to hell.) However, I am more likely to embrace long-term a good half hour to forty-five minutes of listening to great, peppy tunes (MuteMath and MGMT are my current faves) while doing something good for my heart and head.

My goal is to work up the stamina (and cardiovascular strength) to run. Really run. My cousin recently started working out and eating right (she looks AMAZING!), and was telling me that her favorite part of this new lifestyle is being able to go outside and run, particularly in the rain. That sounds absolutely wonderful, but if I attempted to take a jog outside right now, y'all would be sending flowers to Ma and mourning my untimely demise. (Ma, don't get emotional on me. Joke. Laugh. I'm in the other room. Watching Elf.) In fact, I tried running the property line once (we've got two acres), and I nearly barfed on the chickens. They were not sympathetic.

Here's hoping I'm still as chipper...and maybe a few ripples smoother...in a week!

*Get it? Robust. I am hilarious.

1 comment:

  1. If I looked like you, I would just sit and eat cupcakes. Oh, I do just sit and eat cupcakes and that's why I look nothing like you. We do all need exercise though. It's a great mental health booster also.